An apple a day keeps bad sex away.

An apple a day keeps bad sex away.

Married to the Sea

Real men clean naked.

Things like this make me giggle.

Things like this make me giggle.

Every movie you love ruined by Nic Cage.

Mom: What's he taking a picture of?
Me: Us, chillin. Like a villain.
Mom: I have to steal something now?
Hands free success.

Hands free success.

Waitress: are we saving any room for dessert? Should I bring a menu?
Ben: yeah, maybe.
Me: you're gonna want dessert?
Ben: its been a tough week!
Me: are you PMSing?
Ben: yes.

Found these pictures on google. I’m dying.

So while Ben and I were in the Czech Republic we found an SD card on the ground outside one of the castles. We just now got around to loading it onto the computer…

Needless to say the above is what Russian teens do in their spare time. 

"I’m going to start my own company selling condoms and caskets. The slogan will be we’ve got you covered whether your cumming or going."
The Chicken Ranch Prostitutes Documentary

"I need to fix my breasts-for my health-so I don’t wake up when I’m 72, put a revolver to my temple, and shoot myself because I can’t feed my cats."

The Michael Cain impression, oh my god.

My mom got my sister a Macbook for her birthday and asked me to draw something for her background… Viola! :D

My mom got my sister a Macbook for her birthday and asked me to draw something for her background… Viola! :D